Navigating Election Season: Self-Care Tips for Managing Stress and Staying Grounded

Navigating Election Season: Self-Care Tips for Managing Stress and Staying Grounded

At Step By Step Counseling, we understand that election seasons can be uniquely stressful, often bringing up feelings of anxiety, tension, and uncertainty. With nonstop news cycles and constant social media updates, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. As part of our mission to support our clients and community, we’ve gathered practical self-care strategies to help you stay centered during this time. These tips are designed to help you maintain calm, protect your mental health, and continue supporting yourself and your family.

Limit News and Social Media Exposure

Constant exposure to emotionally charged content can quickly trigger the brain’s stress response. This reaction is caused by the amygdala, a part of the brain that processes fear and threat detection. Even short, repeated news sessions can create lingering stress and anxiety. Try setting limits for yourself on news and social media. Set aside one or two specific times each day to check the news instead of allowing it to take up your entire day.

Tip: Use deep breathing while reading the news to help your brain stay calm and grounded, even if you’re engaging with difficult topics.

Stick to Your Daily Routine

Maintaining a healthy, consistent routine is one of the best ways to protect your mental health during chaotic times. Our brains are naturally wired to feel more secure with patterns, which signal predictability and safety. Routines also help keep your brain’s decision-making center, the prefrontal cortex, active and engaged, which can make it easier to manage the unexpected.

Try This: Focus on small, simple rituals like a morning stretch, a daily walk, or an evening wind-down routine. These small moments of structure add calm to your day and reinforce a positive, balanced mindset.

Focus on What You Can Control

Election seasons can bring up a lot of uncertainty, but focusing on what’s within your control can help alleviate that sense of powerlessness. Choose one or two areas where you feel empowered to make a positive difference. Whether it’s working on a personal project, spending quality time with loved ones, or engaging in self-care, centering on these areas reminds your brain that you are still in charge of many aspects of your life.

Tip: Make a list of things within your control each morning. The act of listing out these manageable items gives your brain a quick “boost” by focusing on small, achievable goals.

Step Outside for a Brain Reset

Spending time outdoors, even just for a few minutes, can have a profound impact on your mood. Physical activity and fresh air help lower cortisol, the primary stress hormone, and increase dopamine and endorphins—chemicals that boost mood and well-being. Moving outdoors, even briefly, can help reset your brain, making it easier to approach the rest of the day with calm and focus.

Try This: Spend at least 10 minutes outside each day, combining your outdoor time with a grounding exercise like noticing what you see and hear. This practice redirects your brain from stressors and brings attention back to the present moment.

Lean on Your Support Network

Human connection is a powerful antidote to stress. Positive interactions with family, friends, and colleagues activate oxytocin pathways in the brain, creating feelings of calm and belonging. Don’t hesitate to lean on your support network during this time—just as you might encourage a loved one to reach out when stressed. A quick check-in with someone who cares can make a big difference in how you feel.

Tip: Plan a call or coffee date with a friend or loved one. Regular connection, even in small doses, reinforces your support network and strengthens your mental health.

Stay Grounded for Your Family

If you’re a parent, remember that your children often look to you as their anchor. Modeling self-care and calm responses during this season can help them feel safe and supported, even if they’re feeling stress themselves. By maintaining calm and focusing on your own well-being, you help create a stable environment for your family.

A Word of Encouragement

Election season may be turbulent, but these feelings of uncertainty will pass. Staying calm and grounded not only supports your mental health but also builds resilience that you can draw on in future challenges. Remember, self-compassion plays a significant role in managing stress. Try to speak to yourself as you would a friend—with patience and kindness—and take it one day at a time.

If you need extra support, Step By Step Counseling is here for you. We offer evidence-based counseling for adults, children, and families to help you build resilience and stay grounded during life’s more challenging seasons. Reach out to us to schedule an intake session if you need the extra support. We’re here to help you through this, every step of the way.

 

Navigating Life’s Storms: The Buffalo and Cattle Metaphor

Life is full of storms—unexpected challenges, overwhelming obstacles, and difficult periods that test our resolve. When it comes to handling life’s inevitable storms, our approach can make all the difference. How we handle these storms can significantly impact our well-being and our ability to overcome adversity. To understand how our approach can shape our experiences, let’s delve into the metaphor of two animals facing a storm: the buffalo and the cattle.    Imagine two different animals faced with a storm: the buffalo and the cattle. Each animal has a distinct strategy for dealing with the tempest, and their behaviors offer us valuable lessons about how we handle challenges in our own lives.

The Buffalo’s Bold Approach

Imagine the buffalo, a majestic and powerful animal, as it encounters a storm. Buffaloes are not just resilient creatures; they are strategic in their approach to storms. Instead of fleeing or trying to evade the storm, buffaloes charge directly into it. This might seem like an aggressive or risky move, but it’s actually a strategic one. This might seem counterintuitive, but by heading directly into the storm, they reduce the amount of time they spend within it. They face the challenge head-on, navigating through it with determination and efficiency. The buffalo’s strategy represents a proactive approach to difficulties. By confronting issues directly, we can often move through them more quickly and with greater ease.

Why This Strategy Works:  By heading straight into the storm, buffaloes reduce the amount of time they spend exposed to its harsh conditions. They move through the storm quickly and efficiently.  Charging into the storm allows buffaloes to maintain control over their path and direction. They’re not merely reacting to the storm’s changes; they are actively navigating through it. Buffaloes often travel in herds, supporting each other through tough conditions. Their collective strength and shared determination help them face challenges more effectively.   This approach teaches us the value of tackling problems head-on. When we confront difficulties directly, we can address them more swiftly and with greater focus. By doing so, we often find that our resilience grows stronger, and our ability to manage adversity improves.

The Cattle’s Cautious Retreat

In contrast, cattle tend to run away from storms. When faced with a storm, cattle tend to run away from it, seeking shelter or trying to escape its impact. They attempt to escape, but this often leads to them remaining in the storm for a longer period. While they try to avoid the storm, their avoidance only prolongs their exposure to the elements. This approach symbolizes a more passive stance towards challenges—delaying action and hoping that the problem will resolve itself without direct confrontation. Unfortunately, this often results in extended periods of discomfort and unresolved issues.

Why This Strategy Falls Short:  By running away, cattle may end up staying within the storm’s path longer than necessary. Their avoidance strategy can prolong their discomfort and suffering. Instead of controlling their response to the storm, cattle are reacting to its changes. This can lead to unpredictable and disorganized efforts to find safety. Unlike buffaloes, cattle may not have the same level of collective support when facing a storm. This can make their strategy less effective, as they might struggle with the storm’s challenges alone.  The cattle’s approach highlights the limitations of avoidance and procrastination. When we try to escape from challenges or delay confronting them, we often find ourselves in prolonged periods of difficulty. Our reluctance to face problems head-on can lead to extended stress and unresolved issues.

Applying the Metaphor to Your Life

The buffalo and cattle metaphor can be a powerful tool for self-reflection and personal growth. When faced with challenges—whether they are personal, professional, or emotional—consider which approach you are taking. Are you tackling problems head-on like the buffalo, or are you avoiding them like the cattle?

Here’s how you can embrace the buffalo’s approach:

  • Face Challenges Directly: Like the buffalo, approach problems with a proactive mindset. Identify the issues you’re facing and take decisive actions to address them. Avoiding or delaying action can often make situations worse.

  • Develop a Plan: Prepare a clear plan for how you will tackle your challenges. This plan should include specific steps and strategies to move through the difficulties effectively.

  • Seek Support: Leverage the support of others, much like buffaloes in a herd. Don’t hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or colleagues who can offer guidance and encouragement.

  • Maintain Control: Take charge of your response to challenges. Instead of letting problems dictate your actions, steer your course with confidence and determination.

Now, take a moment to reflect on your own approach to challenges. Are you more like the buffalo or the cattle? If you find that you’re often avoiding issues, consider how you might shift your strategy. Start by choosing one small challenge to confront head-on. By taking proactive steps, you’ll find that navigating life’s storms can become a bit less daunting and a lot more manageable.

Are you ready to embrace the buffalo’s approach?

Meeting the Growing Demand for Intensive Child Mental Health Services

Our office spent 2023 building our SPARK program.  We are excited about our program, because through a structured, short-term program that offers a higher frequency of attendance than traditional counseling formats the SPARK program is designed to provide additional support to families who have a child that requires more than one 45-50 minute counseling session per week.  The intensive nature allows for a more rapid and focused approach.  This program was born out the current landscape of mental health in our local community. 

Kids need more. 

Families need more. 

In recent times, there has been a growing awareness of the importance of child mental health. As we navigate the complexities of modern life, it has become evident that ensuring the well-being of our children goes beyond physical health—it extends to their mental and emotional states. In response to this recognition, intensive outpatient services for child mental health has taken center stage. These services play a crucial role in addressing the complex issues that our children may face in their emotional and psychological development. 

Our SPARK program is meeting a need in our community.

UNDERSTANDING THE NEED

Rising Mental Health Concerns:

Recent years have seen a surge in awareness surrounding the prevalence of mental health issues in children. Countless surveys and research results show numbers that paint a stark picture—a significant portion of our young population grapples with various mental health concerns. From the subtle nuances of anxiety to the profound impacts of depression, these challenges cast shadows over the carefree days of youth.

The statistics serve as a compass, guiding us through the landscape of a new reality—one where acknowledging and addressing mental health in children is not just a choice but a responsibility. The prevalence of these issues calls for a concerted effort to provide the support and care necessary for every child to thrive.

Benefits of Intensive Outpatient Programs (IOPs):

In the quest to meet the rising demand for comprehensive child mental health services, Intensive Outpatient Programs (IOPs) emerge as beacons of hope. These programs, designed with a meticulous blend of expertise and client involvement, offer a range of advantages 0.that set them apart.

Flexible Scheduling:
Our SPARK program is scheduled in the afternoons. This allows kids to attend most of their school day, programming, and be home in time for dinner together as a family. 

Supportive Environment:
The supportive atmosphere also extends to parents, offering them guidance and resources to better understand and support their child’s journey. Our clinical team strives to be supportive and not engage in toxic or “gaslighting” behaviors.  We want our families to  receive positive messages and strategies, not contribute to the isolation and guilt that might accompany raising a child with a mental health diagnosis. Our program strives to empower parents with knowledge and skills. 

Involvement in Goal Setting:
IOPs involve parents in the goal-setting process. The shared goals become a roadmap that both professionals and parents work towards.

Regular Communication Channels:
We prioritize open and regular communication with parents. Updates on progress, insights from sessions, and strategies for ongoing support are shared transparently through daily feedback and through our dashboard. 

As we navigate the landscape of child mental health, the benefits of IOPs become clear—they not only address the rising concerns but do so with a commitment to tailored, compassionate care that recognizes the uniqueness of every child. In the unfolding chapters of our journey, IOPs emerge as powerful allies, dedicated to illuminating the path towards resilient and flourishing young minds.

COLLABORATION WITH PARENTS, CAREGIVERS & GUARDIANS

In the realm of Intensive Outpatient Programs (IOPs), the melody of success is composed not by a single instrument but by a symphony of collaboration. The importance of a collaborative approach echoes through the corridors of child mental health, recognizing that the harmonious interplay between parents, caregivers, and mental health professionals is key to orchestrating a masterpiece of well-being.

Emphasizing the Importance of a Collaborative Approach in IOPs:

IOPs stand as bastions of comprehensive care, and at the heart of this approach is a commitment to collaboration. The recognition that the well-being of a child is a collective responsibility underscores the importance of bringing all stakeholders to the table. It’s not merely a meeting of minds; it’s a convergence of expertise and shared dedication to a common goal—the flourishing of the child.

In IOPs, collaboration is not a buzzword; it’s a guiding principle. The professionals within these programs serve as navigators, drawing upon their expertise in child development, neuroscience, and mental health. However, they acknowledge that parents and caregivers are the true experts on their child. This recognition creates a dynamic partnership where information flows freely, ideas are shared openly, and decisions are made collectively.

How Parents, Caregivers, and Mental Health Professionals Work Together:

Picture a vibrant tapestry where every thread represents a crucial aspect of a child’s life. In IOPs, parents, caregivers, educators and mental health professionals intricately weave this tapestry together, ensuring that no thread is overlooked, and every color contributes to the beauty of the whole.

  • Shared Information and Insights: Parents and caregivers bring a wealth of insights into a child’s unique personality, quirks, and preferences. Mental health professionals, armed with scientific knowledge and clinical expertise, merge these insights with their own observations to create a comprehensive understanding of the child’s needs.

  • Collaborative Goal Setting: Together, these stakeholders set goals for the child’s well-being. These goals are not imposed but are rather crafted through a dialogue that considers the aspirations of the family and the expertise of the professionals.

  • Consistent Communication: Communication is the lifeblood of collaboration. Regular and transparent communication channels are established to ensure that everyone involved is on the same page. This includes sharing progress, addressing concerns, and celebrating achievements.

  • Skill Transfer and Support: Parents and caregivers are not passive observers but active participants in the child’s journey. They are equipped with the knowledge and skills needed to support the child beyond the structured sessions of the IOP. It’s a transfer of skills that empowers families to navigate the challenges of everyday life.

  • Crisis Management and Prevention: In the event of crises, collaboration becomes even more critical. Professionals work hand-in-hand with parents and caregivers to navigate challenges, providing support, guidance, and resources to ensure the child’s safety and well-being.

In this collaborative symphony, each contributor plays a vital role, and the result is a harmonious composition where the well-being of the child takes center stage. It’s a shared journey that goes beyond the boundaries of professional-client relationships; it’s a partnership built on trust, respect, and a shared commitment to the child’s flourishing. As we embrace this collaborative spirit, the impact extends far beyond the confines of IOP sessions, resonating in the everyday lives of the child and their support network.

SPARK: Building Momentum in Mental health

“We’ve tried so many things, and nothing seems to work. What are we missing?”

“It’s so hard to see my child so overwhelmed with emotions. How can I help them cope with their feelings?”

 “We need more help, but resources are scarce. What options are available to us, and how can we access the support we need?”

“How can we manage these behaviors and create a more positive environment at home?

“Is there a more specialized and intensive approach that could be more effective for our child?”

“I’m so tired and overwhelmed. Are there resources or support systems that can help alleviate some of the stress?”

“I’m worried about my child falling behind in school. Are there underlying mental health issues affecting their academic performance?

“I’m frustrated that we’re not seeing the progress in therapy that we had hoped for?”

“Why is my child behaving this way?”

Do these sound familiar? 

Yes?  So what now?

Momentum

What?   

A boost forward.  Momentum is the inertia in motion, a force that keeps an object in motion. We see that momentum is a powerful tool in therapy. 

In our office, our SPARK program provides momentum in your child mental health well-being. For those who feel overwhelmed, stuck or unsure of next steps, we encourage you to look into our SPARK program.  The extended session times allows for deeper therapeutic work and powerful transformation! Our program is designed to provide our child clients with a more immersive and concentrated therapeutic experience, to fuel the momentum. 

What is the significance of momentum in mental health? Momentum contributes to a more positive outlook and positive feedback loop. It might be a long time since families experienced a sense of calmness, understanding and hope.  Families facing overwhelming challenges can feel a sense of hope and optimism when you witness the positive effects of treatment and the gradual improvement in your situation. 

Benefits of creating momentum: 

  • Motivation and Engagement: Momentum provides you, your child, and your family with the motivation to actively engage in the treatment process. When you see progress and positive changes, it reinforces your commitment to improving the situation your family is in. No one wants to be stuck in the muck of feeling disengaged. 
  • Sense of Control: Overwhelmed families often feel a lack of control. Momentum in mental health treatment empowers you, your child, and your family by instilling a sense of control over your circumstances.  Achieving small milestones can be empowering and help you regain a sense of agency. Who doesn’t like a little boost each week?
  • Incremental Progress: Treatment momentum is built on incremental progress. Breaking down larger goals into smaller, achievable steps allows you, your child, and your family to witness tangible improvements, making the overall journey more manageable. 
  • Reinforcement of Coping Skills: As you, your child, and your family experience success in treatment, you reinforce and build upon the coping skills you are learning. This not only addresses immediate challenges but equips you with tools for future resilience. Thease coping skills will allow your family to step down to weekly 1:1 therapy in a healthier space. 
  • Improved Communication with Professionals:As you, your child, and your family experience positive momentum, communication with treatment professionals tends to improve. Open and effective communication is crucial for tailoring interventions to your family’s evolving needs. We start the process with our dashboard and Friday calls, but this can be continued by after exiting the program, you can build your own communication rhythm. 

Ultimately, creating momentum in treatment contributes to the overall well-being of your family. It improves your child’s quality of daily life, helps your child overcome obstacles, and supports their journey toward positive and lasting change.

Okay, so, you’re on board with knowing you need that momentum in your family? Your next question might be, how will our SPARK program help support your family in creating this boost, this momentum forward?

Let’s break it down:

Engagement: When the SPARK program begins with energy and forward movement, it captures your child’s interest and encourages active participation. Our child therapists are experts at creating an environment that engages children through play, a natural and enjoyable medium for them. This engagement isn’t just about having fun; it’s a powerful force that motivates your child and encourages their active involvement in the therapeutic process.

Faster Progress: Our child-centric approach within the SPARK program is designed to accelerate progress. Child therapists within our program are skilled at adapting interventions to your child’s unique needs. This adaptability facilitates your child’s ability to express themselves in their own developmental space, making progress at a pace that suits them best.

Communication: One significant piece of the puzzle is communication. In the SPARK program, effective communication is at the core of what we do. Child therapists work with your child to help them express their thoughts and feelings in a way that feels comfortable to them. This not only enhances their ability to communicate within the therapeutic setting but also provides them with valuable skills for expressing themselves in various aspects of their life.

The SPARK program is designed to ignite and sustain momentum in your family’s therapeutic journey. From engaging activities and faster progress to effective communication and a positive atmosphere, our child therapists are here to support your child and family every step of the way. Overall we see enhanced morale, countinous improvement, positive feedback loop, Ultimately, creating momentum in SPARK enhances its overall impact and outcomes. The positive energy generated by momentum translates into tangible results. 

In the dance of progress,every step sparks momentum for brighter tomorrows.

A story about the power of momentum, in the healing process. (The details presented here are fictional, crafted solely for illustrative purposes) 

The Thompson family, consisting of parents Mark and Sarah, and their 8-year-old son Alex, found themselves in the midst of a crisis. Alex, a bright and energetic child, began exhibiting signs of increased anxiety and difficulty coping with his big emotions. Mark and Sarah, both working professionals, were concerned as Alex’s behavior impacted his school performance and family relationships. It was getting harder and harder to balance his needs and their work schedules due to his meltdowns. The school meetings, daily phone calls home, getting kicked out of before/after school care were getting to be too much. 

The Crisis: Alex’s anxiety manifested as school refusal, tearful outbursts, and withdrawal from social activities with his peers. The family was navigating the challenges of understanding and addressing Alex’s emotional struggles while trying to maintain a sense of normalcy in their daily lives. They needed support and guidance to help Alex thrive emotionally and academically. They had been working with a family therapist for 6 months and haven’t been making progress. While he was hurting himself during his meltdowns, he did not meet the critera for admission at local hosptial in-patient programs.  

Enter the SPARK Program: Upon discovering the SPARK program, Mark and Sarah were intrigued by the various components. They appreciated that the program recognized the balance of supporting the child, but also the importance of family dynamics.  Every piece of the program was intentional.  One small part in particular, they loved that the program had a hard stop at 5pm, so that they could enjoy dinner together.  

Alex began the program with a comprehensive psychosocial assessment, rating scales to determine a baseline, and a treatment plan tailored to his individual needs and family dynamics. The family also appreciated that during this time, they also developed a crisis plan for both home & school.  SPARK provided child sessions as well as support for parents and caregivers. Alex noticed right away that it was different than seeing his 1:1 counselor.  By the end of the first week, he was asking to attend every day, and was disappointed when the program did not run 7 days a week! 

The Journey of Healing: As the Thompsons progressed through the SPARK program, they experienced significant positive changes. Alex learned coping strategies to manage his anxiety, and the family gained a deeper understanding of how to support him. The therapists also consulted and worked collaboratively with the school, providing resources and guidance to create a supportive environment.  The Thompsons appreciated that the SPARK therapists communicated with Alex’s 1:1 therapist, and ensured she had access to his progress each week.  

SPARK sessions became a space for growth. The SPARK program not only addressed Alex’s immediate challenges but also equipped the Thompsons with tools to navigate future obstacles. The inclusion of neuroscience-based interventions helped demystify the reasons behind Alex’s struggles, empowering the family with knowledge.

Transformation and Empowerment: Over time, Alex’s confidence grew, and he began to express his needs in healtheir ways, and there were less outbursts at home Thompsons noticed improvements in his school attendance, academic performance, and overall emotional well-being. They became advocates for the SPARK program, sharing their journey with other families in similar situations.

The SPARK program, with its comprehensive approach, played a pivotal role in the Thompson family’s journey from crisis to healing. It not only addressed the immediate concerns but also provided the family with the knowledge and support needed to build a resilient and thriving future.They credit the momentum to their longer term success.  

Embracing Sobriety and Respecting Boundaries

Embarking on the journey to feel better in our minds involves making choices that really matter. One big choice is about alcohol—something not everyone talks about but is super important for our mental health. As someone who works with kids and teens, and who knows a lot about how our brains work, I want to chat about this. I want to talk about why choosing not to drink can be powerful and how crucial it is to respect others’ choices about alcohol.

The Culture of Drinking In many social settings, the presence of alcohol is prevalent, becoming deeply ingrained in our traditions, celebrations, and day-to-day interactions. Alcohol is often linked with socializing and is, at times, considered a social lubricant. Whether it’s a gathering of friends, a celebration, or a casual meetup, the expectation to partake in alcohol consumption can be significant. Understanding this cultural backdrop is crucial for our mental health clients as they navigate a world where the act of drinking is woven into the fabric of social connection. 

However, within this cultural tapestry, it’s imperative for you to grasp a fundamental truth: YOU possess the autonomy to make choices that align with your own well-being. While the culture of drinking may exert pressure to conform, recognizing your own ability in making decisions about alcohol is empowering. Making choices in alignment with your own personal values and health goals is not only valid but commendable.  

Embracing Sobriety Opting not to consume alcohol is a meaningful and empowering choice that holds both validity and strength. Sobriety, the journey of abstaining from alcohol, is a path that you may choose for a multitude of reasons, each rooted in YOUR personal values and well-being.

For my adolescent and adult clients, one compelling motivation for embracing sobriety is the consideration of mental health. Many individuals recognize that alcohol can have significant effects on the brain, and for those grappling with mental health concerns, choosing sobriety becomes a proactive and positive step. Research in neuroscience has illuminated the impact of alcohol on the intricate workings of the brain and has indicated that it can exacerbate existing mental health challenges.

Saying ‘No’ with Confidence Declining a drink, especially in social settings where alcohol is the norm, can indeed pose a challenge.  Confidence stems from knowledge, and in this case, understanding why you are saying no. Armed with this knowledge, you can make informed choices.  Assertiveness is not about confrontation but about expressing one’s choices with clarity and self-assurance. By articulating your decision to abstain from alcohol, you can emphasize the importance of self-care. In social situations, where the pressure to conform may be present, effective communication becomes a key aspect of navigating the interaction. Expressing gratitude for the offer while firmly stating one’s decision, perhaps with a simple “No, thank you,” accompanied by a confident smile, reinforces the message without alienating others.

Let’s use the approaching holidays as an opportunity to encourage a culture of empowerment. In this season of celebration, individuals should feel confident in their choices, knowing that the decisions they make contribute to their overall well-being. It’s a time to foster an environment where everyone is respected for the unique paths they choose to follow, whether it involves partaking in festive toasts or embracing sobriety.

As we navigate the holiday festivities, let’s celebrate the diversity within our mental health community. Whether someone chooses to raise a glass or prefers a non-alcoholic alternative, the common thread should be one of understanding, acceptance, and support. This season, let’s champion a culture where empowerment and respect resonate, creating a welcoming space for individuals to navigate the holidays with confidence and a sense of well-being.

Perfectionism: The Unicorn Trap of Self-Expectations

Greetings, SBSC readers! Jennie here. Lately, I’ve been observing something remarkable – a prevalence of perfectionism among my clients, their caregivers, and even within our very office. This observation has stirred something within me, prompting me to share my thoughts and insights through this blog post. Let’s delve into the captivating world of perfectionism and discover ways to navigate its enchanting allure together.

So hello, my fellow seekers of perfection! Buckle up, for we’re about to embark on a fantastical journey, exploring what we believe is the enchanting world of perfectionism. Whether you’re a young adult just starting to navigate life’s wild rollercoaster or a seasoned regular adult with years of wisdom under your belt, you’ve likely encountered the allure of the mythical unicorn called perfectionism. Today, we’ll delve into the whimsy of this magical trap and learn how to tame its mystical allure.  It’s a trap.  Don’t get sucked in. 

The Allure of Perfectionism  Ah, perfectionism, the shimmering mirage that promises happiness and success if only we could reach it! It’s like chasing a graceful unicorn through a sunlit meadow, captivating and seemingly within reach. Oh, believe me, I know this all too well. I watch clients, as young adults, determined to ace every test, impress every person, and climb the ladder of success like a determined mountaineer. The chase continues, fueled by the unyielding demands of society and their own high expectations.  Why are we chasing after unicorns when they don’t exist?   Being perfect doesn’t exist. 

The Illusion of the Perfect Life But let me share a secret with you: perfection is nothing more than a captivating illusion. That elusive unicorn dances just out of reach, leaving us feeling inadequate and overwhelmed. Perfectionism is an impossible standard that nobody can truly meet – a truth as profound as it is liberating.  Once we realize it doesn’t exisit, it allows us to relax.   Unfortunately, many chase that illusion, leaving them longing for a life where everything falls perfectly into place — but honestly, that doesn’t happen.   While we may see on social media observing the perfect lives of others, this comparison is not healthy, leaving us feeling inadequate and feeling like we aren’t good enough or falling short of what things “should” be like. 

I was sharing with one of my teen clients recently that it’s almost like social media is a magician’s trick, showing us crafted, carefully curated moments or highlights rather than the truth of both joy and sadness, fantastic moments, but the struggles that lead up to those moments. You’ll see a picture of a couple, but what you don’t see is the fight they got into because one member of the couple just wanted ONE picture with BOTH smiling and “enjoying” the moment. 

Embracing Imperfection and Unleashing Your Magic  Now, if there’s one thing I’ve learned along the way, it’s that embracing imperfections can be an incredibly freeing experience. Admitting that you’re not perfect is a weight lifted off your shoulders.   Just like unicorns, our uniqueness makes us special, and our flaws make us human. It’s time to discard the need to always have it together and simply enjoy the beauty of our true selves. This shift is hard…and scary.  What, you want me to show my quirks and different parts of me?  You are suggesting I “DONT” blend in??? 

When I told someone I was writing a blog post and I was going to give it a unicorn theme, they looked at me like I had grown my own unicorn horn.  Ha!  That look was pricesless.  “Jennie, seriously?”    Yup.   But that’s me, taking writing a blog post and trying to make it fun. Entering into that vulnerability can be scary – but building a connection with someone that is authentic is well worth it to me. How many people wouldn’t be as engaged in this blog post if I didn’t bring out the whimsical, playful side of my personality?    

Letting Go of Unrealistic Expectations Picture this: an adult, striving to be the best at everything while trying to balance a perfect social life and still make time for self-care and downtime. It was an exhausting juggling act, and many feel like a failure whenever they drop a ball. But here’s the epiphany – life isn’t a test we must ace or a performance we must perfect at. It’s an adventure meant to be explored, with all its ups and downs, bumps, and surprises.  It’s okay to drop one of those balls we’re juggling, it’s OK to have one less ball to juggle with. Or just use it as a soccer ball instead of juggling. 

I was sharing with a parent the other day about how we tend to think of success as a linear path – but really it’s more about the ebbs and flows.  We need to stumble a few times before we find our best selves.   For those that know me, I’m a horrible writer.  If I write something or create a flier, 2 therapists in the office will read it and edit it for grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc. (I still double-space after a period—did you know that’s not a thing anymore? Hmmm.  )   When we hold onto these unrealistic expectations, we create chronic stress. I can obsess over a flier or blog post, or I can say, I did my best and move forward.   These unrealistic expectations cause a sense of pressure that can lead to anxiety.  When we hold onto these unrealistic expectations and fail to meet those, we develop low self-esteem.   We become burnt out, we avoid taking on new opportunities, and we miss out on opportunities. Who wants that?   

Discovering the Real Magic: Growth and Resilience As we stumble and rise again, we come to understand that real magic lies in growth and resilience. Resilience is the capacity to withstand or recover quickly from difficulties, it’s our ability to bounce back. Embracing our imperfections (instead of avoiding them) allows us to learn from our mistakes, develop resilience, and grow into stronger, more compassionate beings. Oh, I’ve had my fair share of falls, but each one taught me invaluable lessons that made me wiser and more appreciative of life’s little wonders. It’s so difficult to step out of your comfort zone and push yourself – but when i’ve done that, I have not regretted it.   Now, when I make a mistake, it’s a new adventure, rather than a horrible detour I made.  It’s important to make the conscious decision to say that and think that.  When things don’t go according to plan, it’s a new adventure. 

Enlisting the Help of Fairy Guides (counselors, advisors, coaches ) Now, I’ll let you in on a secret that changed my life: seeking support from counselors, advisors, and coaches is like having a magical fairy guide by your side. These compassionate beings offer invaluable tools to enhance self-awareness and navigate the tricky terrain of perfectionism. I like to say that they’ll sprinkle their fairy dust, guiding you through the woods of self-discovery, until you find your path illuminated with newfound clarity, but really they help provide tools and strategies, providing a mirror to reflect back what is happening at the moment, accountability to push you to follow through and of course a cheerleader.  We all need someone cheering us on.  Having my fairy guides helps me focus on problem solving, rather than just focusing on the problem.  Let’s be honest, it’s so easy to focus on the problem, where I messed up, where I could have done something differently. 

Okay, enough of the unicorn and magical thinking.  I urge you to embrace your imperfectly perfect self. Perfectionism may shimmer like a unicorn, but real joy, growth, and fulfillment come from embracing the magic of imperfection. So, my fellow adventurers, let’s release the unicorn trap of self-expectations and soar free in the kaleidoscope of life’s beautiful imperfections!  May your hearts be light and your spirits bright as you journey forth on this delightful path of self-discovery. And always remember, the most whimsical and magical parts of life are often found in the simple joy of being authentically you. 

If you haven’t read Beautiful Oops, it’s well worth the 2-3 minutes to watch: https://youtu.be/cUUSxgVGQxk

Do you have a child who struggles with making mistakes?  This is another fan favorite in my office: https://youtu.be/3gAUhGmDAig

Ignite the Path to Healing and Growth: Discover the SPARK Program

In today’s ever-evolving world, ensuring the well-being of our children is of utmost importance. Mental health challenges can impact their overall quality of life and hinder their ability to reach their full potential. That’s why we’re thrilled to introduce you to the transformative SPARK Program—a unique and empowering approach to helping children aged 5-10 overcome mental health struggles and ignite their journey to healing and growth.

Does your child need more than 1x a week therapy?  Our office has our SPARK program, which provides multi-dimensional, high-level support.   Our SPARK program offers a high level of therapeutic support while allowing individuals to continue living at home and generally maintaining their daily routines. This comprehensive form of therapy is designed to provide concentrated and targeted care for individuals who require more frequent and specialized treatment for their mental health needs.

In our SPARK program, clients attend group therapy sessions and participate in various therapeutic activities tailored to their specific challenges and goals. The frequency and duration of sessions allow for consistent support and progress monitoring, promoting optimal growth and healing. Clients have the opportunity to develop coping skills, explore emotions, build resilience, and improve interpersonal relationships in a supportive and nurturing environment. Family involvement is also emphasized, recognizing the significant impact of family dynamics on the client’s well-being. We encourage our parents or caregivers to attend the parent session on Mondays, and we encourage our families to eat, as a family, together, after programming on Tues, Wed, & Thursdays. 

Our SPARK program serves as a bridge between traditional weekly therapy and more restrictive levels of care, such as inpatient or residential treatment. It provides individuals with the necessary intensity of treatment while allowing them to continue their daily responsibilities and connections within their community.

Here are some key advantages of this type of support:

  • Comprehensive Treatment: SPARK program addresses various aspects of an individual’s well-being. By providing a range of therapeutic interventions and services, it aims to support emotional, psychological, and social needs.

  • Flexibility and Continuity: Unlike inpatient or residential programs, our SPARK program allows clients to receive treatment while maintaining their daily routines and responsibilities. This flexibility enables them to apply therapeutic strategies and skills in real-life situations, promoting better long-term outcomes.

  • Personalized Care: Through assessments and ongoing monitoring in our SPARK program treatment can be adjusted and customized to ensure the best possible outcomes.

  • Family Involvement: Our SPARK program values the impact the family can have on the client.  Our program actively involves family members in the treatment process, providing opportunities for education, coaching sessions, and support. This involvement fosters improved communication, understanding, and support within the family system.

  • Skill-Building and Coping Strategies: Through interventions in SPARK, clients have the opportunity to learn and practice essential coping strategies and life skills. These skills help them effectively manage stress, regulate emotions, navigate challenges, and build resilience, leading to improved overall functioning and well-being.

  • Transition and Aftercare Planning: Our SPARK program aims to provide comprehensive transition and aftercare planning. This ensures a smooth transition back to daily life while maintaining the progress achieved during treatment. It may involve coordination with schools, healthcare providers, and community resources to provide ongoing support and resources.

The SPARK Program is more than just a therapeutic journey—it’s a catalyst for transformation, empowering children aged 5-10 to overcome mental health challenges and embark on a path of healing and growth. Investing in your child’s mental health and well-being is a powerful decision—one that can shape their future in remarkable ways. Consider the SPARK Program as your partner in this journey, igniting the spark within your child, and setting them on a trajectory towards a vibrant and resilient life. Together, let’s unlock their full potential and watch them shine brightly as they embrace the path to healing and growth. 

A Kaleidoscope of Concern: Unraveling Mental Health Clues in Your Inner Circle

As a licensed therapist, I understand the importance of recognizing signs of distress in our loved ones and offering support. In this blog post we will explore common signs of mental health issues and provide advice on how to approach the situation with empathy and understanding.

Remember, early intervention and support can make a significant difference in someone’s well-being and recovery.

Understanding Common Signs: It’s crucial to be familiar with the signs that may indicate a loved one is experiencing mental health challenges. While everyone’s experiences are unique, some common indicators include:

  • Changes in behavior: Look out for sudden or significant shifts in behavior, such as withdrawal from social activities, loss of interest in hobbies, increased irritability, or difficulty concentrating.  For children specifically, pay attention to significant shifts in behavior, such as excessive clinginess, refusal to go to school, aggression, frequent tantrums, or persistent nightmares.
  • Emotional instability: Notice if your loved one displays intense or prolonged sadness, anxiety, mood swings, or heightened emotional reactions.  For children specifically, observe if your child frequently displays excessive worry, fearfulness, sadness, or seems overly sensitive to criticism or rejection.
  • Physical symptoms: Pay attention to unexplained physical ailments like frequent headaches, changes in appetite or sleep patterns, chronic fatigue, or increased substance use. For children specifically, Look out for unexplained physical complaints like stomachaches, headaches, or other physical discomforts that persist despite medical evaluations.
  • Social withdrawal: Observe if your loved one begins to isolate themselves, avoid social interactions, or experience a decline in their relationships.
  • Cognitive difficulties: Keep an eye out for signs of confusion, disorientation, memory problems, or impaired decision-making abilities.  Furthermore, for children specifically, watch for signs of regression in behavior, such as bedwetting in previously toilet-trained children or clinginess in children who were previously independent.

It’s important to note that these signs alone do not confirm the presence of a mental health issue. However, if you notice persistent and concerning patterns in your family member’s life it may be beneficial to seek professional guidance from a mental health provider. 

Approaching the Conversation: If you notice these signs, it’s important to approach the conversation with sensitivity and compassion. Here are some tips to consider:

  • Choose the right time and place: Find a comfortable and private setting where both of you can have an open and uninterrupted conversation. Find a comfortable and private space where your child or adolescent feels safe to express themselves without distractions or interruptions can be helpful. 
  • Express concern and empathy: Start the conversation by expressing your genuine concern for their well-being. Use phrases like, “I’ve noticed some changes in you lately, and I’m here to support you.”  Create an environment where they feel heard, understood, and supported is a huge factor when having these tough discussions. Let them know that it’s normal to experience a range of emotions, and it’s okay to feel what they’re feeling.
  • Be a good listener: Encourage them to share their thoughts and emotions, without judgment or interruption. Validate their feelings and let them know you are there to listen and understand.  Building trust is important, prioritize building trust by actively listening, maintaining eye contact, and showing empathy. Let them express themselves fully without interrupting. Avoid dismissing or minimizing their experiences, even if you may have a different perspective.
  • Use age-appropriate language: Simplify complex ideas, using language that is appropriate for their age and developmental level. Avoid using technical jargon or overwhelming them with complex explanations.  Many families report using visual aides like drawings, diagrams, or books that explain mental health topics in a way that is easier for them to understand.
  • Offer resources: Provide information about mental health professionals, helplines, or support groups they can reach out to. Assure them that seeking help is a sign of strength, and you will support them throughout the process. Collaborate on finding potential solutions or coping strategies. Encourage them to come up with their own ideas while offering suggestions if needed.

Recognizing signs of mental health issues in our loved ones is crucial for early intervention and support. By familiarizing ourselves with common indicators, approaching the conversation with empathy, and providing ongoing support, we can make a significant difference in their well-being and help them on their journey. 

Proactively Managing Your Stress

Stress is an inevitable part of life, and parents and caregivers may experience it more often due to their responsibilities and challenges in raising children. However, there are several ways that parents and caregivers can combat stress, and manage their stress in day to day life:

Practice self-care: Taking care of oneself is critical for combating stress. Parents and caregivers should prioritize activities that bring them joy and help them relax, such as exercise, meditation, reading, or spending time with friends.

Establish a routine: Having a predictable routine can help reduce stress by providing structure and predictability to daily life. This can include setting regular meal times, bedtimes, and wake-up times.

Seek support: Having a support system can help reduce stress levels. Parents and caregivers can seek support from family, friends, or professionals such as therapists or counselors.

Take breaks: It is essential to take breaks and time away from caregiving responsibilities. This can include taking a short walk, going out for coffee, or engaging in a hobby.

Practice stress-reducing techniques: Techniques such as deep breathing, visualization, and mindfulness can help reduce stress levels. Parents and caregivers can also consider seeking out stress-reducing activities, such as yoga or tai chi.

Practice positive thinking: Cultivating a positive mindset can help reduce stress levels. This can involve focusing on the positive aspects of life and practicing gratitude.

 

Connect with others: Spending time with supportive friends or family members can help reduce stress levels. Additionally, joining a support group for parents or caregivers can provide a sense of community and belonging.

Get enough sleep: Getting enough sleep is crucial for managing stress levels. Parents and caregivers should aim to get at least 7-8 hours of sleep per night.

Prioritize healthy eating: Eating a healthy, balanced diet can help reduce stress levels. Parents and caregivers should aim to eat a variety of nutrient-dense foods, such as fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean protein.

Practice time management: Poor time management can contribute to stress levels. Parents and caregivers can reduce stress by creating a schedule, setting priorities, and delegating tasks when possible.

Limit exposure to news and social media: Constant exposure to negative news and social media can increase stress levels. Parents and caregivers can limit their exposure to these sources of stress by setting boundaries and taking breaks from technology.

Laugh and have fun: Laughter can be a great stress reliever. Parents and caregivers can make time for fun activities, such as watching a comedy or playing a game with their children.

Overall, parents and caregivers can combat stress by prioritizing self-care, establishing a routine, seeking support, taking breaks, practicing stress-reducing techniques, and cultivating a positive mindset. If you are struggling to manage stress on your own, counseling can help. A counselor can teach you coping mechanisms and help you develop a plan to manage stress in your life. If you are interested in learning more about stress management or counseling, please contact our office. We would be happy to help you.

Taking Care of the Caregiver

As the author of this blog post (Nancy) I’ve been a caregiver now for three years straight!  This is a job that I never thought I’d be doing.  I’ve always seemed to take care of others, but not to this extent.  I take care of my boyfriend who needs 24/7 care after having a stroke.  If not careful, caring for someone else doesn’t leave me much time to take care of myself…but that took me a while to realize!  Being a caregiver has so many responsibilities for the other person such as distributing meds, confirming the meds have been taken, preparing meals, cleaning up after meals, laundry, chauffeur tasks, scheduling and appearances, social gatherings being a roommate, and grooming.  These are just a few of the responsibilities.

Life is full of changes that take place and lead us into unexpected situations.  Life can move you in a different direction with the snap of your fingers, leading you to a place where you don’t even realize how you landed there.   Many find that as they are a caregiver, they start heading down the path of losing themselves. Many times they take really great care of the person who needs the support, but they can be feeling lost.  Many understand that they are doing something good and kind, and struggle to figure out why they didn’t feel good about this.  This can leave them feeling empty and confused, almost as if life was passing them by!
The most important factor in caregiving is that the caregiver has to be healthy in order to take care of their recipient.  This means you cannot lose yourself in order to care for someone else.  You have to be conscious of how you feel throughout the day, and your time management has to be stellar!
As Linda Abbit explains in her book, The Conscious Caregiver, “So what is a conscious caregiver?  Conscious caregivers choose to allot time, energy, and compassion to themselves as well as their care recipients.  You believe taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually greatly benefits both you and your care recipient.  In fact, caregiving quality improves when you care enough about yourself to take time out from caregiving for activities that make you happier and more refreshed”.

What can YOU start incorporating into your life that makes you happy while also caring for someone else?

Here are some of the things that come to mind…

  • If your person can be alone for short periods of time, go grocery shopping!  Sometimes it’s a good way to relax and listen to the overhead music.  It will give you a chance to catch your breath while still accomplishing a task you need to fulfill.
  • Started an area of indoor plants to nourish the air in the home.  Certain plants clean the air in the home.  These include ferns, snake plant, fiddle-leaf fig, peace Lilly, spider plant, and English ivy, to name a few.
  • Start an herb garden in the kitchen.  I use these herbs for cooking and have them under a grow light.  Basil seems to sprout easily, yet I enjoy oregano, thyme, and mint also.
  • Oh! If you have space, an outdoor garden in the backyard is a nice moment of respite!
  • When you clean the house put the music on and dance a little jig while cleaning!  This can be really uplifting!
  • Take small breaks for yourself, especially if you are starting to feel overwhelmed or anxious.  A small break, doing some breathing exercises, and just BEING are very helpful.
  • If the weather is nice I always make an effort to go out on the deck and enjoy nature.  Take the person you care for out there with you and they can enjoy it also.
  • Call a family member or a friend to talk once a day.  Reaching out to others outside the home is a great way to build connections with others and avoid isolation
  • Utilize and take advantage of helpers, respite care, and family members who offer to help.
As a caregiver myself, these are some of the ways I’ve found to help me feel better and they bring me back to myself.  I know you have your own special ways to feel good, so think about it, write them down, and start adding them into your day!  You will find yourself before you know it!

Sign up for our mailing e-mail list

 

Want to keep up to date on all that is happening at Parent Hub? Sign up for our e-mail list!