Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson is a friendly, structured tool I recommend for couples looking to enhance their relationship. The book includes seven conversations designed to enhance your understanding of how you show up in your relationship, and how you “dance” with your partner. It covers the three common ways people fight, why some interactions feel so hurtful, how to really work toward forgiveness, and keeping your relationship alive over the long haul.
Who should read it?
Any couple who has been struggling with fighting, feeling distant, or wants to build understanding of themselves and their partner.
Will it be full of all that psych jargon?
I love this book in part because it is so approachable. Dr. Johnson gives clear descriptions and examples to help us understand the common patterns in relationships and ends each chapter with questions to ask yourself and your partner to tie it all together with your own experience.
What if my partner and I start fighting while we’re reading it??
A very common reason for couples to avoid therapy is the fear that shining a light on problems will make them worse. Totally understandable! It can definitely feel safer to stay in the problems you know, rather than risk things escalating. In my work with couples, I’ve found that most of us have the capacity to handle tough conversations, and actually long to share “the hard stuff” with our partners. Sometimes, however, our experiences make it feel impossible to verbalize our feelings to the one we love. If you notice this happening for you I’d recommend seeking out a trained counselor to help you navigate these conversations and walk with you through these painful parts.
Who should we contact if we need help?
I strongly recommend seeking out a therapist trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy. EFT was developed by Dr. Johnson and utilizes the theories she writes about in Hold Me Tight. Reading this book can be a great jump start to therapy and help you prepare for the work you’ll be doing.
What if I hate reading?
No problem! It isn’t a requirement for couples counseling. Also, there are Hold Me Tight workshops lead by trained therapists across the country. This can be a meaningful and fun way to connect with your partner and grow in all the areas covered in the book.
Please reach out to our office for more information or to find out if couples counseling might be a good option for you!