Saying Goodbye
Recently, I said goodbye to my roommate of 13 years.
She was my little shadow, my constant companion, my food thief, and the one who could look
down her nose at me at any given moment. She never let me go to the bathroom alone, and it
felt like she knew my routines better than I did. She knew when I was sad, when I was sick,
when I needed quiet, and when I needed comfort – even if that comfort came in the form of
simply being nearby.
The Bond
Many people don’t understand the bond between a human and the pet who chooses them. But
that bond is built through thousands of small, ordinary moments: shared mornings, familiar
sounds (I do so miss the sounds), unspoken understanding.
And when that bond is broken by death – or any permanent separation – the grief can feel
overwhelming. It can hit your body before your mind catches up. Tight chest. Heavy limbs. A
pain so sharp it’s sometimes hard to breathe.
When Love Requires the Hardest Decision
When you’re the one who has to make the decision to let them go? That pain is multiplied in
ways that words can barely describe.
Even when you know the choice was made out of love and compassion, grief doesn’t always
come alone; it can bring guilt and doubt along for the ride. And a longing for just one more
moment.
Why I’m Sharing This
So why am I talking about the loss of my beloved Roxi today?
Because I want you to know it’s okay to make the hard decisions. Love sometimes asks us to
choose: peace over presence, comfort over continuation. And when those decisions are made
with care, they are not a betrayal; they’re an act of love.
Your Grief is Valid
I also want you to know this: your grief makes sense. If your heart feels broken, it’s because
something meaningful was lost. If your body feels exhausted or on edge, it’s because you’re
grieving.
There’s no timeline, no “right” way to grieve, and no minimum threshold of pain required to
justify it. This hurts because the love was real.
Naming the Loss
One thing that I’ve found helpful is allowing myself to name the loss without minimizing it. Not
“just a pet.” Not “I should be over this by now.”
Simply: I lost someone I loved.
Saying that out loud, without apology, was the first small breath of relief for me.
Carrying Love Forward
Another helpful step is to find a way to honor the bond rather than trying to let it go (I haven’t
done this yet). Grief doesn’t mean forgetting; it means learning how to carry love in a different
form.
Speak their name. Light a candle. Plant something. Create a quiet ritual that acknowledges their
place in your life. Love doesn’t end just because a body does.
When Guilt Shows Up
And when guilt shows up as it often does, meet it with compassion instead of judgment.
Ask yourself: If my pet could speak, what would they thank me for?
Remind yourself that you made the best decision you could with the information, love, and care
you had at the time.
Choosing to ease suffering is not giving up; it’s showing up in the hardest way.
Letting the Grief Move
So yes, feel the big feelings. Let the grief move through you instead of pushing it down or
rushing it. Cry when you need to. Rest when you’re tired. Talk about your pet. It’s ok to miss
them.
Because grief isn’t reserved only for the losses society deems significant; it’s felt wherever love
lived. And love absolutely lives in the space between a human and their companion.
Grounding & Reflection
If the grief feels heavy right now, pause for a moment. Place one hand on your chest or
somewhere that feels comforting. Take a slow breath in through your nose, and let it out gently
through your mouth. Repeat once.
When you’re ready, reflect on this:
● What’s one small moment with your pet that still brings warmth, even through the
sadness?
● What did loving them teach you about yourself – about tenderness, loyalty, or showing
up?
● If they could speak to you right now, what do you imagine they would want you to know?
Your answers don’t need to be perfect. Whatever comes up is enough. Grief isn’t something to
solve; it’s something to experience, moment by moment.
Take another slow breath. You’re allowed to be gentle with yourself today.
Honoring What Was Loved
And when you’re ready – on your own timeline – find a way to honor their life in a way that feels
right to you.
Honor the love.
Honor the bond.
Honor the grief.
A love that deep deserves to be honored.
By Sherine Chambers