MOTHER’S DAY: A TIME FOR CELEBRATION?
Mother’s Day is a national holiday that once a year honors Mothers for their nurturing, love and support of their children. A holiday that is supposed to generate about warm and cozy feelings about the person who delivered us onto this earth and give us the opportunity to show our appreciation, honor and love to this person.
Mother’s Day and other related type of holidays can cause people to grieve or have negative feelings and emotions on these holidays instead of the joyous feelings that these days are meant to conjure. People who have lost their mother due to death, adoption or other extenuating circumstances may not have the same reactions to this “feel good” holiday. Other people who might also struggle with this holiday are people who have experienced infertility, miscarriages or have had a death of their child.
Women who have children but have lost their mothers can develop mixed feelings over a holiday like Mother’s Day. Although they may enjoy being recognized and honored by their children and families, due to the loss of their mother they can also struggle with feelings of grief, depression and anxiety due to the absence and grief over the loss of their own mother.
Grief can have many different symptoms and effects people in different ways. Grief is expressed physically, emotionally, socially, and spiritually.
· Physical expressions of grief often include crying and sighing, headaches, loss of appetite, difficulty sleeping, weakness, fatigue, feelings of heaviness, aches, pains, and other stress-related ailments.
· Emotional expressions of grief include feelings of sadness and yearning. But feelings of worry, anxiety, frustration, anger, or guilt are also normal.
· Social expressions of grief may include feeling detached from others, isolating yourself from social contact, and behaving in ways that are not normal for you.
· Spiritual expressions of grief may include questioning the reason for your loss, the purpose of pain and suffering, the purpose of life, and the meaning of death. After a death, your grieving process is influenced by how you view death.
Things you can do to honor your Mother’s memory on Mother’s Day:
· Plant a tree, bush or flowers in her memory
· Visit her gravesite
· Balloon release
· Attend a concert of Mom’s favorite band
· Make a donation to a charity in her name
· Church mass or memorial service
· Feast of Mom’s favorite foods in her honor
· Revisit a favorite activity, pastime, place or meal that was shared with Mom
· Honor other family members and friends that are mothers
· Scrapbook memories of your mother
· Create a memorial webpage
· Write her letters or create poems or artwork in her memory
If additional emotional and grief support is needed please contact me or contact a local grief support group. A few that I recommend are:
Annie’s Hope (314) 918-1465
Baue Funeral Homes (636) 940-1000
Missouri Baptist Grief House (314) 996-5433