Grief is defined by most people as a feeling of suffering or loss that often occurs after the death of a loved one. While death causes one type of grief, there are many other times we experience grief. Any major life changes such as a breakup, loss of friendship, illness, or major injury can lead to feelings of grief because of the loss of life (or part of it) as we knew it. Therefore, a better definition of grief is: The physical, emotional, somatic, cognitive, and spiritual response to an actual or threatened loss of a person, place, or thing to which we are emotionally attached. While the experience of grief is different for everyone, it is often associated with certain feelings, physical sensations, thoughts or beliefs, behaviors, and experiences. While it is difficult to define “normal” grief, one may experience the following:
Feelings:
– Numbness
– Denial
– Anxiety
– Shock
– Anger
– Loneliness
– Fatigue
– Yearning
– Relief
Physical symptoms:
– Nausea/upset stomach
– Fatigue/lack of energy
– Shortness of Breath
– Tightness of Chest
– Panic Attack-like symptoms
Common thoughts:
– Confusion
– Disbelief
– Sense of presence
– Lack of concentration
– Dreams/nightmares
Common behaviors:
– Absent-minded behavior
– Appetite disturbances
– Sleep disturbances
– Social withdrawal
– Dreams of the deceased
Common experiences:
– Denial
– Anxiety
– Depression
– Anger
– Guilt
– Fear
– Bargaining
There are many theories of the stages of grief. While each one has a different number of stages with different names, they are all alike, consisting of some combination of these or similar experiences. The most important thing to remember is that everyone experiences grief differently. You may experience different stages for different lengths of time than your friends or loved ones, even if grieving the same loss. It is an important process that allows us to come to terms with the loss
we have experienced and find a new normal.
